| For centuries families have joined together for | | | | and stickers. It is always interesting to see a tribute |
| ceremonies and rituals to help them make meaning of | | | | to the deceased through the eyes of a child. |
| their loss. Funeral professionals are all too familiar with | | | | Encourage a family to bring in their poster so that |
| leading these types of remembrance services, as well | | | | you may display it for visitors entering your funeral |
| as the rising trend of personalization. By offering a | | | | home. |
| variety of choices to families you'll find that in addition | | | | The possibilities are endless, but you don't necessarily |
| to helping them commemorate a loved one, you are | | | | have to stretch your imagination to help adults and |
| inviting a variety of opportunities to connect and build | | | | children memorialize a loved one. Many funeral |
| a rapport. Asking open-ended questions during | | | | directors ask certain questions to illicit conversations |
| arrangements for instance allows a funeral director to | | | | about memories during arrangements. You may |
| not only get to know more about the deceased, but | | | | already ask these types of questions to get to know |
| also to observe the ways in which families interact. | | | | a family better or as a first step for personalization. |
| More importantly this becomes the ideal setting to | | | | Try encouraging family and friends to share stories |
| transform family conversations into ceremonial | | | | with you about the person who died. By connecting |
| creations. | | | | some of this information, you are well on your well |
| How is Memorializing Different than Personalization? | | | | to helping a family memorialize a loved one. |
| Although very similar concepts, personalization in the | | | | Suppose during arrangements someone mentions to |
| funeral home tends to focus more on how the | | | | you that their loved one enjoyed cooking. Why not |
| deceased is represented. I'm sure you've found that | | | | offer to print a favorite recipe in the memory of the |
| involving family members or friends in this process | | | | deceased? If food is allowed at your funeral home, |
| creates a sense of unity and ensures that the | | | | why not offer a copy of the recipe and a sample of |
| personality of the deceased is kept alive. | | | | the dish itself? There are so many variations to this |
| Memorializing goes above and beyond personalization. | | | | memorialization technique. Explore ideas with families |
| The act of memorializing pays tribute to a person's | | | | and friends and you may be surprised at what they |
| life and gives loved ones and friends the opportunity | | | | come up with! |
| to recall memories. Funeral professionals who offer | | | | Candles are another way to help connect stories and |
| suggestions and facilitate such conversations can | | | | help people memorialize. Since there are now virtually |
| actually help family and friends capture even more | | | | hundreds of scents to choose from, a family can |
| memories. Recalling memories helps to build stories | | | | most definitely find a scent that reminds them of |
| about the deceased, therefore the likelihood of | | | | their loved one. Whether it is the scent that reminds |
| preserving memories increases as more stories are | | | | them of grandma's banana bread, the scent of |
| generated. | | | | autumn leaves that is reminiscent of dad hunting in |
| Helping someone say goodbye to a loved one is an | | | | the woods or the smell of pumpkin that reminds a |
| important service provided by funeral professionals | | | | family of a child's favorite holiday, Halloween, ideas |
| and the cornerstone to any funeral home business. | | | | are plentiful. You may even want give visitors a |
| The care, compassion and empathy you exude at | | | | special votive candle with a sticker placed on the |
| such a delicate time in a person's life, is not likely to | | | | back with your name and logo and a special |
| be forgotten. Now-a-days, most people are familiar | | | | inscription in memory of the deceased. It goes |
| with photo boards, familiar music and small mementos | | | | without saying that these special give-a-ways not |
| that honor the life of someone when they enter the | | | | only provide lasting memories, but they also provide |
| funeral home. Taking the leap from personalization to | | | | a subtle marketing opportunity as well. |
| memorialization is not complicated, it simply involves | | | | Many funeral homes offer journals, albums or family |
| providing tools, suggestions and handouts to show | | | | tree memorabilia which become lasting memories and |
| family, friends and the community-at-large that you | | | | family heirlooms. Other funeral homes offer coping |
| are thinking of them and that you recognize that | | | | kits, pre-printed coloring pages or coloring books to |
| everyone's life is special. | | | | children. Memorialization doesn't have to be expensive. |
| Helping Families Memorialize | | | | If you can not afford to give away small gifts like |
| During a wake, why not have small pieces of | | | | the ones mentioned above you may want to |
| cardstock just the right size for people to write | | | | consider offering photographs to the family or |
| down their favorite memories of the person who | | | | friends, handprints, footprints, locks of hair or video |
| died? Having discussed this idea with family or friends | | | | taping the ceremony. These items are especially |
| during arrangements, you may want to walk around | | | | precious for children. Remember, as they grow older, |
| during calling hours with some cards and pens in a | | | | children have a limited ability to recall their |
| small basket encouraging others to share memories. | | | | involvement in wakes, funerals or memorial services. |
| These memories, funny stories or special recollections | | | | By providing special opportunities to honor their loved |
| can be gathered at the end of the services and | | | | one, you are actually helping to decrease the |
| either given to family or friends in a special box or | | | | likelihood of secondary losses associated with loss of |
| displayed in an album. If you don't feel comfortable | | | | memory. |
| walking around encouraging participation, you may | | | | Most likely you will find that a brief conversation |
| want to check to see if the family would like a child | | | | about memorialization will spark many creative ideas |
| or someone else to do the honors. | | | | from family and friends. Over time keep a list of |
| Of course there are many variations to this type of | | | | these ideas to add to your repertoire of suggestions |
| activity. You could have a box or basket of cards | | | | and to pass along to others. You may even want to |
| with directions displayed near the guest book on a | | | | add memorialization as one of the many services |
| separate table or you could have the directions with | | | | offered. Children and adults undoubtedly benefit from |
| a poem or special phrase or prayer printed on the | | | | a variety of memorialization ideas and activities. It is a |
| back of the cards and hand them out with a pen | | | | gentle way to begin the grief process, especially if |
| (imprinted with your name/logo) to people as they | | | | someone was not able to say goodbye to their |
| walk in. Encourage visitors to hand in their memories | | | | loved one before he/she died. I'm sure you will agree, |
| before they leave and to take the pen home with | | | | as the needs of families become more diverse, so |
| them as a gift. | | | | should our range of products and services. By |
| This memorialization technique can be modified even | | | | supporting those left behind and encouraging |
| further for children visiting your funeral home, | | | | conversations about memorializing you not only |
| however, try and buy larger cardstock pieces (found | | | | enhance communication amongst family and friends |
| in the scrapbooking section of most arts/crafts | | | | you also provide an avenue to help them share |
| supply stores) since children tend to need more room | | | | memories and create lasting keepsakes. |
| to write and draw pictures. Another suggestion for | | | | Below are some additional suggestions for |
| children: pre-cut shapes out of construction paper, | | | | memorializing you may want to pass along;o Create a |
| such as butterflies, hearts or flowers. Children can | | | | storybook, memory book or memory box about |
| then write, dictate or draw their favorite memories | | | | your loved one who has died. Write down important |
| on these cut-outs to have as keepsakes, place in the | | | | things that you would like to remember about the |
| casket or share with others. | | | | person who died. Interview family members and |
| Giving families the tools to help their children | | | | friends to find out about their favorite memories and |
| memorialize a loved one is truly priceless. Whether | | | | more information.o Write a message to the |
| you are providing children with an all-inclusive | | | | deceased. Each night light a candle and remember |
| grief-related coping kit or just a pencil and a paper, | | | | your loved one while placing your message in a |
| you are providing them with an opportunity to create | | | | special box.o Create a special memorial area in your |
| lasting keepsakes in the memory of their loved one. | | | | home or display items in a shadow-box frame. Include |
| This is so important especially for families with young | | | | some favorite things or special mementos from the |
| children, since sadly, the average young child will | | | | time you spent together.o Carry a lock of hair or |
| forget precious memories as early as a few months | | | | portion of a loved ones cremated remains in tiny |
| following their loss. | | | | container or locket.o Provide a dedication at your |
| Families with children of all ages may be interested in | | | | loved one's favorite place with a specially engraved |
| a special children's service to help memorialize a loved | | | | bench or stone or some other type of marker. |
| one. Together they can choose songs or readings | | | | Celebrate your loved one's life by visiting or having a |
| that pay tribute to their loved one. Children may also | | | | picnic at this special place.o Encourage children to |
| want to write a story, poem or song that can be | | | | draw pictures or write stories inspired by their |
| read or sung aloud. They may also want to perform | | | | memories of the deceased.o Make a donation to a |
| a little skit or play that highlights the personality of | | | | charity or create a scholarship in the name of the |
| the deceased or favorite memories. Creating a | | | | person who died.o Plant a tree, shrub or flowers as a |
| goodbye poster is also a nice way to involve children | | | | living symbol to honor the life of the deceased.o |
| in the memorialization process. Encourage families to | | | | Make a collage about the deceased using magazines, |
| use poster-board or long butcher paper, words | | | | photos, stickers, etc. Frame portions of goodbye |
| pictures from magazines, copies of photographs and | | | | posters or photo boards used during funeral services. |
| a variety of arts/crafts materials such as ribbon, paint | | | | © 2008. |