| When John proposed to Susan, he also talked to her | | | | Not only is this the joining together of you as a |
| children about becoming their father and being a new | | | | couple, it is also the creation of a new family-For you |
| family. Zoe and Lindsey were thrilled to have a | | | | Susan, Zoe and Lindsey are the dearest treasures of |
| father, their father had died just after Lindsey's birth. | | | | your heart-and you could never give yourself to a |
| So when I met with John and Susan as their wedding | | | | man unless he recognized and honored them in that |
| officiant, they wanted some part of the ceremony | | | | way. John you are that man-your greatest joy is to |
| to honor the new family they were creating by | | | | have Zoe and Lindsey on each knee laughing and |
| including the children too. We decided to use the | | | | loving them as a true father would. And for Zoe and |
| Blended Family Unity Candle ritual. As the children | | | | Lindsey, this is your time as well to welcome John |
| were eleven and eight, they were old enough to | | | | into your hearts and lives as family-- to laugh with |
| participate in the planning. The following is what we all | | | | him, share with him and depend on him as your true |
| came up with: | | | | parent. I am going to light the Family Unity Candle to |
| 1. Choosing the Elements: John and Susan wanted a | | | | represent the light of love that is at the heart of this |
| central candle that had all of their names on it. Zoe | | | | new family. Each of you take a taper and light your |
| and Lindsey wanted to have their own taper candles. | | | | candle from the central one representing your |
| And I wanted some way to light the candles that | | | | commitment to keep the love you feel for each |
| was easy ie. not matches. They choose a central | | | | other as foremost during good times and difficult |
| engraved pillar candle with 4 taper candles and | | | | ones. |
| holders. I choose a fireplace lighter that was easily | | | | 3. Deciding When to Do the Blended Family Ritual: |
| ignited. | | | | The Unity Candle Ceremony can be done either |
| 2. Deciding What To Say: Now that we had the | | | | before the wedding vows or after. John and Susan |
| elements, we worked on what they wanted to | | | | decided that they wanted the ritual after they took |
| actually say. Susan wanted to say something to John | | | | their vows as a couple. |
| about accepting him into the family she and the | | | | The wedding was held outdoors, and as the winds |
| children had and thereby creating something new. | | | | did not come up that day, the candles were easily lit |
| John wanted to talk about how blessed he felt in | | | | and stayed that way for the remainder of the |
| having a partner but also in being able to be a father | | | | ceremony--a testimony to love and joy. For many of |
| at this stage of his life. Zoe and Lindsey wanted to | | | | guests there, this ritual was the highlight of the day. |
| say something about having a father and new family. | | | | And for Zoe and Lindsey, this was the beginning of a |
| This is what they came up with: | | | | wonderful adventure. |